Choice of the Day

CHOICE OF THE DAY #7:

"Foosball or Air Hockey?"

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"Definitely air hockey because it's fun to bloody your opponent's knuckle with the puck."
                 
--Cyndi Roberts


CHOICE OF THE DAY #6:

"Kate Jackson, Jaclyn Smith, or Farrah Fawcett?"

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Farah Fawcett, of course -- because of the Burning Bed, and because -- well, did you see her "spread" in Playboy? To look that good at - - well, how old IS she, anyway????
                  -Maria Barr

Jaclyn had her nominal "Smiths",  Farrah's "Fawcetts" we're all over the place,  but  Kate's "Jacksons" we're juuuuust riiiiiiight!!!" 
                -Gregg Montgomery

 


CHOICE OF THE DAY #5:

"Would you rather be 90 minutes early for everything, or 20 minutes late?"

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Damn, tough one. Really tough one. Well, I've thought about it long and hard. I've let it bounce the walls of my brain silly, I've carried the question, sheathed in a fig leaf, through rotten, long since forgotten apple orchards veiled by morning fog wearing only shower shoes (galoshes would have served me best) Then the answer became clear, but the question was lost. 90 minutes late. Unless it's a, oh, how can I say this without sounding like a complete tool...uhm, unless it's a large group sexual experience consisting of one lucky female and several hundred men...then, I want to be 90 minutes early. Hey, a question for you guys (the real purpose of this email, some lunatic typed the first portion). Regarding the hotel 
rating system (which is classic)...where do the ones that offer an hourly rate, rate? .5? 0?
              
                     -Kevin Doyle


CHOICE OF THE DAY #4:

"Fire Eating or Sword Swallowing?"

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Fire Eatin'.  Us Alabama boys don't swallow nothin' but pig meat, Busch light, and some occasional chaw spit.  And you won't get me near no three-foot, sharp-as-hell robot dong.  I got a tooth to protect.
                        -Nick Andersen

I think they should call it, like, "sword throating" or "dagger dipping" or something, because you don't really swallow it, do you?  it comes out again.  like, when you put some nasty vegetable thing in some heavenly onion dip, the dip don't swallow the celery, right?  like a sword.  that's why they call it "dip" instead of, like, "eat".  besides, fire eating is dangerous.  did you ever try to eat something that was on fire?  it sucks!  probably because of the fire.
                   -
Greg Toro



CHOICE OF THE DAY #3:

"Jack Nicholson's performance in The Shining or as the Joker in Batman?"

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jack nicholson in the shining wins over just about any of his other roles...kubrick ran him thru the staircase scene ("give me the bat, wendy") like, 90 times...if you look closely, he's drooling-plus, this is when he & roman polanski were out snorting rails off the backs of 17 year-old models...jack looks like shit, for real-no makeup...tim burton is a candy-ass w/a huge bank account...jack as the joker is all bluster & past accomplishment/notoriety...devoid of substance, like most eighties-era culture

                       --Andrew Lindstrom

 



CHOICE OF THE DAY #2:

"Tai Chi or Chai Tea?"

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The following doesn't really make a "choice" per se, but it was far and away the most entertaining response.

I work at a coffee house and oddly enough an elderly woman recently asked if we served Tai Chi. Rather than embarrass her, I leapt from behind the counter and surprised her with a series of ancient moves from the master Chang. 
"This what you mean?!" I screamed. 
Though centuries old, she was like, "Damn, yo! That mizzove is off the hook! You put that in a to-go cup?!" 
I was like, "Shuzzup, girl. I'll learn you something new, like right now!" 
So I made her a cup of Spice Chai, to which she replied, "This is what I was looking for. My mistake. Thank you." Beezach left no tip.
                                                      -Jon Francis


CHOICE OF THE DAY #1:

"I'll Be There For You" or "Never Say Goodbye?"

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The two best responses are below.  It is interesting that the majority of respondents 
were unaware that these are two Bon Jovi power ballads.  - ed.

     "Never Say Goodbye"     
.....because I prefer to say Badbye.
                - Jeff Helvick

"I'll Be There For You"
 With-out question, any late twenty year old guy played this song to their wanna-be girlfriend sporting her hairspray doo.  As cheesy it may be to think about now, we still find ourselves singing the song word for word when it's played on the radio and thinking......those were the days!  What were we thinking!   
                     - Brooks Juhring